


we'll regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin

by theatrix_queen



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anxiety, Depression, Fluff, Happy Ending, I Tried, If You Squint - Freeform, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Personality Swap, Punk!Evan, but that didn't happen so, evan's a pining babe, hope everyone's cool with that, i made evan gay, ish, it ends on a cliff hanger, listen, ok this was supposed to be a personality flip, pastel!connor, pining!evan, soft punk!Connor&Evan, they both become soft punk at some point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-07 02:52:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14661798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theatrix_queen/pseuds/theatrix_queen
Summary: At some point during Evan's short and miserable life, something crept into him.Something like an urge.Evan had an urge to live.And dammit, he was going to listen to it._________Evan's therapist suggests going to a group therapy session so he can meet people, get involved.He goes, he’s not happy about it, but he goes. And, wonder of wonders, who else would be there but the object of his fantasies?Evan cautiously sits next to the sunshine boy with rainbows in his hair and a twinkle in his smile. He shifts, crosses his legs, uncrosses them. Gives a small sniff. Clears his throat before turning to face Connor.“Hi,”





	we'll regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin

**Author's Note:**

> she bacc
> 
> alright listen up bitches
> 
> i worked hard on this ok
> 
> appreciate por favor thank
> 
> title and fic inspo: Party Tattoos by dodie
> 
> k that's all 
> 
> enjoy

Evan doesn’t know when, he doesn’t know how, but at some point during his short and miserable life, something crept into him. Something bright, something bold, something beautiful.

 

Something which craved _life_.

 

Something like expensive eyeliner and cream contour and fancy cigarettes and designer skinny jeans.

 

Something that made him go mad with wanderlust, sick with entanglement, delirious with lust.

 

Something which made his imagination run wild with thoughts of sneaking out, going to parties, kissing boys.

 

Something like an urge.

 

Evan had an urge to _live_.

 

And dammit, he was going to listen to that urge.

 

And so, in eighth grade, Evan Hansen began his journey to the other side.

 

He bought piles of expensive makeup and spent hours learning how to put it on. Evan soon became very skilled at putting on a full face of makeup within the matter of ten minutes.

 

He never wore it outside.

 

Freshman year, he smoked his first cigarette. It wasn’t as great as he hoped it would be, but it was enough.

 

He slowly made the transition.

 

By the end of the year, Evan Hansen had completely rebranded himself. Here was the kid who wore nothing but ripped skinny jeans, who could apply eyeliner better than most of the girls, who bleached his hair once a month to keep it as sickeningly pale as possible, whose mom was a famous lawyer, who smoked behind the school.

 

Evan Hansen had become a bad boy.

 

But he didn’t like to think of himself as that.

  
If one got to know him, they would probably think of him as the friendly gay guy who loved to have a good time.  
  
But nobody did.

 

Nobody does.

 

His sharp eyes and striking charisma must scare them off.

  
Well. That’s what his mom says.

 

In reality, Evan’s pretty positive that he just looks too scary to approach.

 

So, Evan learns to live in solitude.

 

He learns that if you’re nice to the librarians, they’ll let you eat lunch in the library. He learns which bathrooms are used the least so he can skip class and get high. He learns that painting your nails is a good way to pass the time.

 

He likes to write too. He writes poetry. And not dark, creepy material like one might expect based on his demeanor. Soft, warm poems about how beautiful the world is and how kind mother nature can be, and how beautiful trees are when they’re the only friend you have. But no one needs to know that.

 

Because of his low level of interaction with humans, Evan starts to get incredibly anxious when someone _does_ talk to him. Anxious that he’s saying the wrong thing, anxious that he’s being too emo, anxious that he’ll scare them off.

 

Along with this newfound anxiety, comes a stutter.

 

 _A stutter_.

 

 _A goddamn stutter_.

 

He learns to hide it, though. He has perfected the art of coming off confident and cool. In short interactions, the little tick rarely makes an appearance.

 

Good.

 

Within him, Evan finds that there is also a deep, cavernous craving for _love_.

 

Specifically, romantic love.

 

But, it’s hard to achieve romance when you have no one to be romantic with.

 

And so, Evan starts going to parties the summer before his senior year.

 

He doesn’t really care if he was invited or not, if there’s people and alcohol, he’s there.

 

Evan goes to parties in search of love.

 

But, Evan never finds love at parties.

  
Just lots and lots of one night stands.

 

Lots of  hot boys, trembling underneath him.

 

Lots of cuddling afterwards.

 

Because Evan also finds that he is touch starved.

 

He needs people to touch him. Not just through stupid stupid sex, but lovingly.

 

Evan Hansen, the school emo, needs love.

 

And dammit, he doesn’t know how to get it.

 

He tries Jared.

 

Jared Kleinman, his childhood best friend. Jared Kleinman, who rarely spoke to him after freshman year. Jared Kleinman, who he doesn’t really like, and who doesn’t like him.

 

Looking for love in Jared is a stupid idea.

  
But Evan’s full of stupid ideas.

 

So, halfway through senior year, Evan walks up to Jared Kleinman.

 

Jared Kleinman, who actually looks pretty good since last time he saw him. Jared Kleinman, who is rocking a muffin top. Jared Kleinman, who Evan is sure that he can milk romance out of.

 

He asks if Jared is free that weekend.

 

For some strange reason, Jared says yes.

 

And so, a rocky friendship forms.

 

It’s a dangerous dance, the one they perform. Evan comes over on weekends. They play video games. Evan obviously checks Jared out. Jared obviously checks Evan out. Evan flirts relentlessly, Jared blushes profusely. The sexual tension is high.

 

But not as high as Evan is when he finally jumps Jared’s bones.

 

They’re in Jared’s basement, Evan stoned out of his mind, Jared completely sober.

 

And Evan just.

 

Loses all self control.

 

And so does Jared.

 

That’s only the first time, though.

 

Jared and Evan continue a strange friends with benefits relationship, considering they aren’t really friends. All the while, Evan is still searching for love. He tries it by slowing things down, kissing Jared passionately but not quickly. But Jared likes everything fast fast fast, and speeds things right back up again.

 

Evan tries saying an I love you one time. It’s a Sunday morning, Evan had stayed the night. They’re in the kitchen, making eggs. Jared just pauses, looks at him funny, and then turns back to the stove.

 

By the time he’s graduated, Evan realizes that he’ll never find love in Jared, and leaves.

 

Jared doesn’t care.  
  
Well, at least, that’s what Evan thinks. Jared would disagree, if Evan had given the opportunity. But Evan didn’t.

 

And now, his gap year’s almost over, and Evan still hasn’t found love. He’s kind of giving up at this point.

 

And then along comes Connor Murphy.

 

Connor Murphy, who is the softest person to ever walk the planet. Connor Murphy, who put pink stripes in his hair, who carries around expensive sharpies and watercolors in his rainbow pencil case, who wears yellow eyeliner and bright colors and sandals. Connor Murphy, who Evan went to highschool with. Connor Murphy, who is the exact opposite of Evan Hansen.

 

The first time Evan interacts with him, he’s drunk out of his mind.

 

It’s Friday night.

 

There’s a party, not a kegger, but still one that Evan manages to get completely wasted at, like Evan always does.

 

He’s in the middle of a game of spin the bottle with a bunch of random strangers when he sees him.

 

Connor’s sitting across the circle from him, hair poofing out from underneath a yellow beanie, wearing a pastel blue crop top and white skinny jeans. Evan’s never really looked at him before, but he does now.

 

He’s got this kind of soft smile on his face, and it looks natural, like it belongs there. His right eye is a bright blue, but his left has a splotch of brown in it. He’s definitely attractive, and Evan is definitely attracted to him.

 

It’s different, somehow, then most other boys. Most boys is a red hot lust, something that starts in his abdomen and works its way down, but this is slightly different. It’s like he can tell that this boy is a special one, and is to be handled carefully. So instead, this feeling starts out like a light pink, starting in his chest and lingering before even starting to climb downwards. It’s an intriguing feeling, one that Evan wants to explore, and so he decides that he will end the night in the same bed as Connor Murphy.

 

But hey, not everyone gets what they want.

 

The next time he spins, he doesn’t land on Connor, like he would’ve hoped. Or the next time. Or the time after that. No, Evan doesn’t land on Connor at all. Connor is actually the one who lands on Evan.

 

He looks up, and he’s got this strange shyness to him, but there’s also an air of confidence underneath, and it’s so alluring that Evan practically surges forward to kiss the dark haired Murphy.

 

It ends too soon.

 

After that, Connor leaves the circle. Evan’s so out of it that he doesn’t think twice before following him.

 

He finds him outside, sipping from a red solo cup.

 

“What do you use to dye your hair?” Evan surprises even  himself with those words. _Real smooth, Ev._

 

Connor turns around, smiling slightly. “Come again?”

 

“Well, uh, what do you use? Um, it, i-it, it-” He cuts off, taking a breath. “. . . looks good,” He mumbles,, face growing crimson.

 

But Connor’s smile isn’t gone, and Evan feels just the tiniest bit assured.

 

“Thanks,” He says, with just the tiniest bit of pink dusting his cheeks, and Evan needs this boy in bed with him right now.

 

Evan takes a step forward.

 

Connor doesn’t back away.

 

However, he does shift just slightly, so that more skin is showing from underneath his crop top, and dear god Evan needs to touch this boy soon.

 

Connor must notice Evan eyeing him, or maybe he just realized how creepy Evan is, because then he suddenly straightens, wide eyed, and runs back into the house without another word.

 

Leaving Evan, who is noticeably horny, standing there with nothing to do.

  
Or rather, no _one_ to do.

 

And Evan. Just.  
  
Wonders.  


\--

 

The next time Evan sees Connor, it’s at the local coffee shop.

 

He’s sitting on his phone, drinking a frappe, wearing a big white hoodie.  
  
And. Wow. Connor is really adorable.

 

Evan surprises even himself with that thought, because Evan doesn’t think about people like that. He thinks of them as hot, sexy, attractive, but never _cute_.

 

Evan doesn’t consider himself to be shy, and yet. Here’s fucking Connor Murphy, making him legitimately nervous to talk to a boy for the first time since middle school.

 

How is it possible that a twink with pink streaks in his hair has managed to make his knees shake with anxiety? He doesn’t even know the guy yet.

 

Evan slowly approaches the man, mustering up his courage.

 

He’s just about at Connor’s table, about to speak, when he practically whisks himself up from his seat and out the door. Like, really. Evan has never seen someone move that quickly and gracefully before. _He’s like some sort of magical fairy_.

 

Which leaves him standing there, alone in a coffee shop, gawking at the door.

 

\--

 

The next time Evan sees Connor, he doesn’t _really_ see him, as it’s in his dreams.

 

But he doesn’t really need to talk about that in detail, does he?

 

\--

 

Murphy won’t get out of his fucking head.

 

It’s quite aggravating.

  
Evan thinks he might be developing a crush.

 

On someone who he’s never formally met.

 

Fucking fantastic.

 

After years of searching for love, he’s finally found something simiar in someone who barely knows he exists.

 

He’s fucked.

 

\--

 

He sees Connor at a bar, about a month later. And damn is he _excited_.

 

His favorite person at his favorite bar while he’s drunk off his favorite drink.

 

He approaches the dark haired Murphy, already tipsy.

 

“Hi!” He yells, bubbly. God, what is this boy _doing_ to him. Since when is Evan Hansen _bubbly_?

 

“Uh hi?” The boy seems confused, as he should, since the only actual interaction Evan has had with him was at a party where Connor was probably blackout drunk.

 

“C-Connor, right?” Evan sticks out an over-enthusiastic hand. Okay, maybe he’s more than a bit tipsy.

 

The boy smiles lightly, taking the outstretched hand unsurely. “Yeah, Connor. And you are . . ?”

 

Evan’s not at all hurt that Connor doesn’t remember him, not even from high school. Nope. It’s not like Evan Hansen was super memorable in the first place, but still.

 

“Evan, Evan Hansen,” He sees Connor’s eyes widen with recognition, probably remembering what a piece of shit Evan was in high school (and admittedly, still is).

 

A simple, small “oh” leaves Connor’s mouth before he’s gone, and it’s all Evan can do not to cry.

  
He orders another drink.

 

\--

 

Evan’s therapist suggests going to a group therapy session so he can meet people, get involved.

 

God, even his therapist wants him to get fucking laid.

 

He goes, he’s not happy about it, but he goes.

 

And, wonder of wonders, who else would be there but the object of his fantasies?

 

Evan cautiously sits next to the sunshine boy with rainbows in his hair and a twinkle in his smile.

 

He shifts, crosses his legs, uncrosses them. Gives a small sniff. Clears his throat before turning to face Connor.

 

“Hi,”

 

There’s some recognition in his eyes when he replies with an upbeat, but light, “Hi,”

 

A beat.  
  
Evan’s about to open his mouth again, when--

 

“Hello, everyone! I’m Sammy, I’m leading the group today! Let’s get started,”

 

And then Evan’s mouth clamps shut, and he listens. He listens as Sammy talks, as everyone introduces themselves.

 

He listens when Connor says, “I’m Connor Murphy, I’m 18, almost 19. I’ve got severe Depression,” And he says it with such a happiness in his voice that it disturbs Evan somewhere deep in his core.

 

And he listens when the rest of the people share their problems, and when it’s his turn, he just says that he’ll pass, and lets the people who’s problems matter talk.

 

And when it’s over and he’s leaving the building, he watches the boy with rainbows in his hair and sunshine in his smiles pull his sleeves down carefully as he walks to his car.

  
And Evan is suddenly reminded of his own scars, and how much he wants to add to them.

 

But, when he gets home, and his mom smiles at him over her laptop on the dining room table, he decides that it can wait a few more days.

 

\--

 

After a couple more therapy sessions with the same group of people, Connor approaches Evan as they’re leaving the building.

 

“You wanna get coffee?”

 

Evan stares. Blinks. Looks around a bit. He tilts his head and asks, “Me?” in a confused sort of voice.

 

Connor just smiles. “You,” he says.  
  
Evan just nods dumbly, unable to speak. And with that, Connor grabs his hand and drags him toward his car.

 

And, as they sip from warm cups in a sunny coffee shop, Evan realizes that something is probably starting. And he desperately wants to be apart of it.

 

\--

 

It becomes a Thing™. Every Tuesday and Friday after group therapy, Connor and Evan go to coffee. Evan learns that Connor doesn’t have a favorite color.

 

“They’re all pretty,” He says, shrugging.

 

He learns that Connor loves cats above all else, and that rainbow sherbet is practically like an addiction to him. He learns that when Connor laughs, he tucks his hair behind his ears and bites his lip. He learns that Connor clutters a bit in speech, mixing up words and pausing awkwardly, but he never lisps, always speaks clearly.

 

He learns that Connor is even more enrapturing when up close.

 

He learns that when Connor smiles at him, he can’t breathe. When Connor laughs at his jokes, he turns scarlet. When Connor touches him, static crackles in his ears.

 

His crush expands in his chest, threatening to bubble over. Evan just hopes that Connor doesn’t pop it.

 

\--

 

Like all good things in life, Evan’s coffee dates with Connor come to an end.  
  
It’s the last day of their group therapy. Sammy gives a sappy inspiring blubbery speech, and Evan smiles because he’s actually gonna miss her. And all these people.

 

His eyes flicker to Connor, and for just an instant, they make eye contact. Some sort of conversation passes between them as they realize that they might never go on a coffee date again.

 

Connor looks content, resigned. Like he got his fill of this group and coffee dates and Evan. He looks sad that it’s over, but not upset.  
  
Like he won’t miss it that much.

 

 _Like he won’t miss Evan that much_.

 

And Evan knows that there’s no chance with Connor, and he wants to cry.

 

\--

 

Evan doesn’t see Connor for a long time.

 

He resigns from his job at Pottery Barn.

 

Tells his mom that he’ll major in Environmental Science at the community college.

 

And suddenly, the next chapter of his life is starting, and he is thrown into it head first, unprepared and scared.

 

He rooms with Jared, because why the hell not? They’re both at the community college and they both have no friends nearby.

 

Jared’s got a boyfriend now, and Evan’s happy for him. He doesn’t tell Jared that, but still.

 

They don’t talk very often, but they’re still a helluva lot closer than they were in high school. They’re friends. Sort of.

 

Evan goes to a lot of parties. He drinks. A lot.

 

Enough where it’s maybe a bit unhealthy.

 

Enough where he can’t _just_ have one drink.

 

Enough where Jared looks really worried whenever he comes home drunk every other night.

 

Evan drinks.

 

And it’s not enough.

 

\--

 

It takes him seven months to admit that he has a problem.

 

It takes him a month after that to admit that he’s an alcoholic.

 

It takes him another month to search for help.

 

And, surprisingly, Jared is with him every step of the way.

 

Jared Kleinman, his childhood family friend. His fake ex lover. His roommate, and.

 

His best friend.

 

Jared Kleinman helps him through. He encourages him to talk to his therapist, drives him to support groups, even helps him speak to Heidi.

 

Jared is there.

 

And, for now, it’s enough.

 

\--

 

He tries goes sober for a month in October.

 

And tries drinking again on Halloween.

 

A month wasn’t enough.

 

He’d tried before that, too. He’d spent a lot of September thinking _this is the day, this is the day_ , and then couldn’t resist having just _one_ drink. Which turned into two, which turned into four, and then he was wasted and Jared was dragging him home.

 

He tries again, mid November.

 

But falls back again on New Year’s Eve.

 

But, on January 16th, he tries going sober again.

 

And, on August 16th, Jared takes him to the local karaoke bar to celebrate seven months.

 

It’s not even a full pregnancy length, but.

 

It’s enough for Evan.

 

\--

 

On that warm summer night before Evan’s junior year of college, he sees Connor Murphy singing karaoke.

 

And his heart, just.

 

Fucking explodes.

 

Because, goddamn, whatever it is that Murphy did to him, _he still isn’t over it_.

 

And, not that Evan doesn’t love the image of the sweet, kind, pastel boy that he remembers Connor as, but, uh. Connor’s wearing black, and _holy shit does he look good_.

  
He’s wearing black eyeliner too. Not horribly applied emo-liner either. Well done eyeliner, that isn’t winged. Black jeans and combat boots, plus a black denim jacket with flowers on it. His hair is up in a bun, and if Evan was standing he would’ve had to sit down, because _damn_ .  
  
And Evan looks down at himself, and almost honest to god laughs because.  
  
He’s wearing a blue crop top. And winged eyeliner. And a white beanie.

 

And they’ve almost switched outfits entirely since that one party during his gap year.

 

Evan almost wants to take a drink to celebrate seeing Connor again, but-

 

“No,” He hears Jared’s voice next him, snapping his gaze over. “I know that look, Evan. Absolutely not,”

 

And, yeah, Evan supposes that’s fair.

 

Seven months is a long time. He can’t give that up now, not yet.

 

And so Evan turns his attention back to the stage, where Connor has just finished his song. He’s scanning the crowd like he’s looking for someone, and Evan’s chest feels heavy, because of _course_ Connor would’ve found someone by now, it’s been almost two years.

 

But then his eyes lock with Evan’s, and.

 

And then he’s got this sweet little smile on his face, and he’s walking over to Evan, and the room is spinning.

 

As he gets closer, Evan notices a new piercing, a shiny little gold star on the side of his nose, and holy shit is that adorable. He’s also got a tattoo on his collarbone, some phrase written in fancy letters that Evan can’t read.

 

Connor slides into the booth across from Jared and Evan, smirking just slightly. “So, Hansen, Kleinman,” he nods at each of them in turn, “what brings you here? Haven’t seen y'all around in a while.”

 

Evan gives a half assed attempt at saying, “We’re celebrating,” but it probably comes out as, “We--uh, well, c-c-c-” before looking at Jared helplessly.

 

“We’re celebrating a special event,” Jared says, smiling easily.

 

Connor’s about to reply when a voice calls his name. He whips his head around and there’s a girl, looking a little younger than Connor, waving him over. Zoe Murphy. Evan vaguely remembers her as Connor’s little sister.

 

He casts an apologetic look at them before dashing over to her.

 

Jared raises an eyebrow at Evan, but doesn’t mention anything.

 

Evan’s grateful for that. He doesn’t think he would have the willpower to explain.

 

\--

 

Evan sees Connor at the local park a few days later.

 

He’s sitting on a bench underneath a tree.

 

Evan’s spent a lot of time pining for this stupid pastel/soft punk fucking boy, and he thinks it’s about damn time he does something about it.

 

So, with a rare courage coursing through his veins, he struts up to Connor in what he hopes is a cool way, and smiles in a way that he hopes is charming and not creepy.

 

“Hi,” he says, maybe a bit too loudly.

 

Connor looks up, and any shred of confidence that he might’ve had melts away as Connor gives him that _fucking_ smile, and suddenly he’s wishing that the sun could melt him into the ground.

 

“Hey,” Connor laughs just a bit, sticking his tongue out ever so slightly. And Evan is once again floored by how enamored he is with this man, who laughs just because he _can_.

 

“Um. I,” Instead of starting out an actual sentence, Evan just holds out the I until he runs out of breath, realizing his has nothing to say. Deciding that balling up in a hole and never speaking again seems like a nice option, he starts to scramble away, throwing some half assed apology over his shoulder as his face burns with mortification.

 

“Wait, Evan!” He stops short, turning around with a tiny light of hope shining on his heart.

 

Connor runs up to him, shaking his head and smiling like he’s a friend that just did something idiotic  and not an old stranger that he hasn’t spoken to in years.

 

“You wanna go out sometime?”  
  
And if Evan gets maybe a little too excited, and nods his head a little too vigorously, Connor doesn’t seem to notice.

 

\--

 

“Jared, one or two?”

 

“ _Evan_ , what-”

 

“One or two, bitch, it’s important,”

 

Jared sighs heavily from his place underneath his covers. “It’s legitimately midnight, go to fucking _bed_ ,”

 

“Just answer the fucking question,”

 

An annoyed groan. “Two,”

 

Silence.

 

“Okay, but like I think I actually want to wear one, so-”

“Hold. What did I just tell you to wear?”

 

Evan’s face burns. “Um, just a shirt.”

 

“A very important shirt, it would seem,”

 

“Okay, it’s for a date,”

 

“With . . . ?”  


Evan launches himself face first onto his bed, muffling his response.

 

“Sorry, didn’t quite catch that?”

 

“ _Connor_ , okay? I’m going on a date with Connor fucking Murphy tomorrow night, and I have no idea what to wear!”

 

A long pause.

 

“Get up, you little cunt, we’re going to Walmart,”

 

Evan gives him a blank stare. “You’re taking me date shopping at _Walmart_ ,” It’s maybe supposed to be a question, but his tone is flat.

 

“Don’t question me, Hansen. My sorry ass has a boyfriend, unlike yours, so I clearly know _something_ in the way of romance,”

 

Evan doesn’t have the energy to argue.

 

\--

 

Evan arrives at the restaurant at 6:30 pm on the dot.

 

As soon as he walks in the door, anxiety floods over him.

 

_What if he doesn’t show up? What if it’s just a prank? What if he actually hates me and is going to murder me? What if I--_

 

“Evan!”

 

Connor’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts, making him realize that he’d been standing near the entry, probably with a lost puppy look on his face.

 

He rushes over to the table Connor’s sat at, willing away the redness in his cheeks. As he slides into his chair, he checks Connor out in a not-so-subtle way.

 

He’s wearing a full face of makeup, contour, highlight, wings, the whole shabang. Which, that alone is _fucking_ wow, but he’s also got his hair in two braids (dear god is Evan in heaven??), and he’s wearing a yellow crop top (which really brings out his blue eye, holy shit), and, to top it all off, when Connor stands up to ask for an extra napkin, Evan realizes he’s wearing a skirt.

 

If Connor is trying to seduce Evan, it’s working. Really well.

 

He considers saying this as a joke to Connor when he gets back, but would that be disrespectful? Evan doesn’t want to be that douchebag that Connor decides to hook up with. Evan wants to be Connor’s _boyfriend_.

 

And god, even letting himself think that trivial word brings a fresh blush to his cheeks.

 

Their date continues, Connor flirting relentlessly and Evan doing his best to respond without combusting into flames.

 

When the clock starts nearing closing time, Connor grabs Evan’s wrist and says lowly, “You wanna head back to my place?”

 

And it’s all Evan can do to nod, because he had been waiting to hear those words from Connor for _years_.

 

As soon as the door closes, Connor’s all over him, running his fingers up Evan’s spine, threading his fingers through Evan’s hair, just taking a moment to appreciate _Evan_ without kissing him or doing anything inherently sexual. And Evan almost starts crying, because _this is what he’s been craving since he was in middle school_.

 

But then Connor’s kissing him, slow and passionate, and Evan just wants to be _in this boy’s goddamn bed already_.

 

And, as they make their way to the bedroom, and Connor turns around to give Evan a small, pure smile, he can’t help but wonder if he’s finally fallen in love.

**Author's Note:**

> ok i know that this is cheesy af ok but don't judge me alright my fingers slipped
> 
> also i hATe the "omg that color brings out your eyes!!!" thing but i have blue eyes and i sWEAR that yellow makes them pop so don't have a go at me ok that is factual
> 
> fun fact: fuck
> 
> thanks for readingggggg
> 
> also: might do a sequel. might turn this into a series. lemme know if u want that =)


End file.
